It’s Thursday…
…and today would have been my husband’s birthday…
We’re all still adjusting to this newer, emptier life (at least for me) but we are getting through the days. The nights are a little harder.
After more than 38 years with someone wonderful by your side I guess it’s natural to be lost. And he was wonderful, truly the love of my life. When I met him he was divorced with three children to support. A dream come true, right? I used to joke that when he said he had bills, I thought he meant green ones and that’s why I married him!
The truth is we were so head over heels for each other that nothing could have kept us apart. He was the best husband and father, working two jobs for a long time to support us. He said he was fascinated with electricity when he was young and knew from the time he was about eight that would be his career. He was from rural Tennessee and enlisted in the Navy, getting a chance to be an electronic tech and then later going to school on the GI Bill and eventually became an electronic engineer.
This year the grief is still very fresh, but I’m grateful my three sons will be over tonight with their families and we are planning to eat pizza and drink their dad’s favorite Merlot and probably share some funny stories. And we’ll get through another first this year and keep moving forward…
Monday Musings…
UPDATE: my husband passed away this morning at 11:22 a.m. Life will go on, but it is forever changed…
I’m going to be taking a break from blogging, perhaps an extended one. It’s 3:54 on Monday morning and I’m writing through a blur of tears as I sit in a hospital room as my dear, sweet husband of 37 years swiftly fades away.
Early Sunday morning he suffered a massive brain bleed and life became a whirlwind of ambulances, emergency rooms, phone calls and texts to relatives and the words you never want to hear — there is literally nothing we can do and chances of survival are about 3 percent.
My children who live close by gathered around and we talked and cried and tried to make some decisions. I stayed overnight because I could not bear to leave. I slept a few hours before the ICU nurse woke me to tell me his blood pressure had dropped significantly and he had spiked a high fever. Still, there’s really nothing to do but wait and cry and feel my heart breaking.
We’ve had such a wonderful life together. I know I’m very lucky and not everyone is blessed as I have been. I just thought we’d have more time. I want to thank you all in advance for your love and support and prayers because I’m not sure I’ll have the time or ability t respond to comments. I love you all, too and I’m so grateful for your friendship.
To Love…
Another year has flown since we celebrated; time is slippery now as we try to grab it and say hold on, wait, we have so much to do and we need lots and lots of years yet…
We’ve built wondrous things together — a house, a home, a family, chaotic and busy, and found peaceful sanctuary within each other’s arms…
Cake, candles, cards, presents, even fireworks, none of it could say well enough how precious you are, how glad I am that you are here on this Earth and in my world…
Father of my children, wonderful husband, love of my life, happy birthday…
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