Reading or listening to the news lately is so disheartening that I sometimes wonder what has happened to this world we live in. Then something sweet happens and I feel better about the future…
In the few days after my husband died in December, family began gathering as is usually the case, I’m sure. Everyone was anxious to help do something — anything, really. I asked my stepson if he would take youngest to get a hair and beard trim before the weekend. They went to Upscale Male, a salon in nearby Naperville, where my husband and Dave have gotten their hair cut for years.
One of the stylists came over to ask Dave where his dad was. The guys sadly explained what had happened with their dad and she was, of course, shocked at the suddenness. Dave and his dad had just been in there the month before. She excused herself for a moment and came back with the owner who was terribly upset and offered his condolences — and insisted that he be allowed to provide his services on the house that day as a tribute to their dad.
What a lovely gesture from a very kind man who went out of his way to try to help my guys feel a little better. ❤️❤️❤️
I really thought I could start writing again but I don’t think I can do it yet. It’s been about a month since my hubby died of a brain aneurysm and there are still more bad days than good. Everything I see, everything I touch reminds me of what I’ve lost this year and I guess I’m just not ready yet to focus on only the good memories. I literally feel a physical ache in my chest.
Christmas was tough this year. Luckily Paul and I had decorated together after Thanksgiving because I wouldn’t have had the heart to do everything myself. And Christmas has always been my favorite holiday so I’m especially saddened that I can’t find much joy this season. The best part was watching my brothers’ and my grandchildren all playing together on Christmas Eve. So maybe a little bit of joy!
But mostly I’m glad the holiday is over so I can stop pretending to enjoy things. Some days I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep, but when night falls and I’m exhausted, sleep just won’t come. I’m trying to take care of myself, but cooking is not something I relish on a good day, so it’s sure not interesting me now! I wish I didn’t have all the paperwork to continue completing. Insurance, benefits, investments, just a constant reminder of how my life has changed.
My son and I decided to spend New Years Eve at home with the elderly, arthritic Chief dog. He wakes up barking in the middle of the night most nights anyway so he’ll be thrilled we’re here with him. Maybe we can watch a movie, but if I fall asleep before midnight I’m okay with that this year.
I know with time things will get better for us. I just don’t know how to move on right now…
UPDATE: my husband passed away this morning at 11:22 a.m. Life will go on, but it is forever changed…
I’m going to be taking a break from blogging, perhaps an extended one. It’s 3:54 on Monday morning and I’m writing through a blur of tears as I sit in a hospital room as my dear, sweet husband of 37 years swiftly fades away.
Early Sunday morning he suffered a massive brain bleed and life became a whirlwind of ambulances, emergency rooms, phone calls and texts to relatives and the words you never want to hear — there is literally nothing we can do and chances of survival are about 3 percent.
My children who live close by gathered around and we talked and cried and tried to make some decisions. I stayed overnight because I could not bear to leave. I slept a few hours before the ICU nurse woke me to tell me his blood pressure had dropped significantly and he had spiked a high fever. Still, there’s really nothing to do but wait and cry and feel my heart breaking.
We’ve had such a wonderful life together. I know I’m very lucky and not everyone is blessed as I have been. I just thought we’d have more time. I want to thank you all in advance for your love and support and prayers because I’m not sure I’ll have the time or ability
t respond to comments. I love you all, too and I’m so grateful for your friendship.
When I heard the story a week or so ago about a couple who had plunged to their deaths from a scenic lookout, Taft Point, in Yosemite National Park, California while taking a selfie, I cringed. What a horrible way to die.
A few days ago I saw more coverage of the story, this time with a picture, and as soon as I saw bright pink hair, my heart sank. I knew it was Minaxi. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would know this couple, as well as you can know blogging friends here at WordPress. Perhaps you knew them, too?
It’s taken me a while to find the words to write this post. Originally Minaxi’s blog was called Gameplan Happily Ever After and she blogged about being part of a newlywed Indian couple, married in 2014, who absolutely loved to travel. She wrote about her wedding and her sweet husband, Vishnu, and their life together. How she didn’t really cook and how she loved shopping and everything that was pink!
I’m not even sure how Minaxi and I met or why we bonded. Somehow we followed each other’s blogs and I know she hoped to become a full-time travel blogger. I called her my adopted daughter in one post and you’ll see our conversation in the comments. I even wrote a post about how I met my hubby because she asked me to and you can see her comments there, too.
She had begun a newer blog that has now been deleted. But I’ve looked back at Gameplan and you can see all her adorable pictures of their life and travels.
I understand an investigation into what happened is ongoing. Apparently an unattended tripod was found at Taft Point which seems to confirm the selfie taking theory, but I’ve also read some speculative comments that there was something odd about the situation. I don’t believe it for a minute. Minaxi was just so fun and full of life. I’m certain she and Vishnu simply ventured too close to the edge where there were no guard rails and fell in an awful, tragic accident.
They will be laid to rest in northern California, a young couple whose story ends far too soon. And as I write this and think of Minaxi and Vishnu and their heartbroken families, my heart is breaking, too.
Photo from Facebook
JP is our youngest grandson who turned five in September. He and his mom and dad lived with us while they were building their house a year ago. Though they’ve moved into their new house now, we still get to pick him up from preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays and spend the afternoon with him. Next year he’ll be in kindergarten all day. He’s so full of fun and remarkably wise for his years!
When our sweet Inga died early on Halloween, I didn’t want to tell JP and spoil his holiday, so Tuesday we picked him up and went by his house before trick or treating. We waited until he was over at our house yesterday to break the news.
Me: Remember how I told you last week that Inga was really sick and she was 14 and that was old for a dog? Well, she died the other day and now she’s in heaven with Tank.
JP: But Chief is 14 and he didn’t die. (Our other dog.)
Me: I know, but he isn’t sick like Inga was. Dogs live to different ages.
JP: Did you see her die or did she just disappear? (Their dog, Tank, died while they were on vacation so by the time they got home, Tank had disappeared!)
Me: No, honey, she didn’t disappear. She died during the night but when we got up in the morning it was just her body left and her spirit went to be in heaven with Tank.
JP: NANA, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER HEAD??
Me: What? (Then I realized what I had said.) Oh, no, honey, ALL of her was there and Papa and I wrapped her in a soft blanket and took her to the vet.
JP: Nana, I’m sad that Inga died.
Me: Me, too, baby. Me, too.
Then we shared a hug and thank goodness he was satisfied with my answers because I was running out of explanations he could understand. And smiling about it makes me feel better 🙂