It’s a New Year…

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And I didn’t celebrate last night, but I did get some sleep!  I fooled the crazy old Chief dog into thinking I was asleep on the family room couch by leaving a bed pillow and blanket there so that if he woke in the night he didn’t panic and start barking.  Luckily his eye sight isn’t the best, lol.

Yes, I know it’s a lot of silliness to go through for a 15 and a half year old dog, but getting to sleep in my own bed all night without 2 a.m. barking was so worth it.  Tonight I’ll try for two days in a row!

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Monday Musings About Blogging…

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My elderly, arthritic Chief…

I really thought I could start writing again but I don’t think I can do it yet.  It’s been about a month since my hubby died of a brain aneurysm and there are still more bad days than good.  Everything I see, everything I touch reminds me of what I’ve lost this year and I guess I’m just not ready yet to focus on only the good memories.  I literally feel a physical ache in my chest.

Christmas was tough this year.  Luckily Paul and I had decorated together after Thanksgiving because I wouldn’t have had the heart to do everything myself.  And Christmas has always been my favorite holiday so I’m especially saddened that I can’t find much joy this season.  The best part was watching my brothers’ and my grandchildren all playing together on Christmas Eve.  So maybe a little bit of joy!

But mostly I’m glad the holiday is over so I can stop pretending to enjoy things.  Some days I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep, but when night falls and I’m exhausted, sleep just won’t come.  I’m trying to take care of myself, but cooking is not something I relish on a good day, so it’s sure not interesting me now!   I wish I didn’t have all the paperwork to continue completing.  Insurance, benefits, investments, just a constant reminder of how my life has changed.

My son and I decided to spend New Years Eve at home with the elderly, arthritic Chief dog.  He wakes up barking in the middle of the night most nights anyway so he’ll be thrilled we’re here with him.  Maybe we can watch a movie, but if I fall asleep before midnight I’m okay with that this year.

I know with time things will get better for us.  I just don’t know how to move on right now…

 

Yay, Yay, it’s Saturday…

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Yay, Yay, it’s Saturday…

Whoops…

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The Price of Love…

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I saw this on someone’s Facebook page so I don’t know who the author is, but it really does say it all.  Just wanted you to know I’m okay…