One Year…

I’m proud of myself and my family for facing all the firsts this past year without my husband (and their father) whom we lost last December 3. Yesterday we went to lay wreaths on his grave and those of my parents and my sister-in-laws’ parents at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery.

Of course I broke down again, but the grief is not so fresh and all encompassing most of the time. It’s hard to explain what triggers tears now. More often than not it’s something random; a song we liked, a tv show we watched, a restaurant we enjoyed together.

His unexpected death from an aneurysm a robbed us of a chance to say our goodbyes, and that had been so difficult for us all.   I’m comforted knowing we said I love you to each other at least once every day of our 37 years together. And though the suddenness of his death was hard on all of us left behind, I don’t think my husband suffered and for that I’m so grateful.

If I’ve learned anything this past year it’s that life really is too short and precious. I don’t want to waste even a moment on anything or anyone that doesn’t bring me joy…

21 responses

  1. Time is indeed a healer, and it’s good to keep all the good memories. My father died young (62) in 1980 and hardly a day goes by when I don’t remember him. We also mention him often, as my mother who died of a stroke age 85, to our children and grandchildren. My mother was still very well and I bitterly resented her death, but sometimes when I see friends’ parents and what they’re going through, I feel thankful that they didn’t suffer. We have a saying in Greece, ‘May you always remember him’. 🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your lovely message. I know exactly what you mean when I see so many people living into their 90s! But then I remember a friend I lost to cancer when we were 26 and it reminds me their are no guarantees in this life and to appreciate every moment.

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  2. These kind of anniversary’s are never easy. I think of you often my blogging buddy. If you need me, I’m just an email away ❤ All the best to you this holiday season. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And to you, dear Patti! Thanks for your sweet words

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have loved reading your blog this year. My deepest sympathies for what happened to you a year ago. The older we get (now 66) the more we keep losing people. This year my wife and I said, enough putting off things (like trips of a lifetime), just go do it now. We are! Thanks for the things you write and post. I read a lot of blogs but yours is the only one I subscribe to. Keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jim, I just adore your comment. Nothing could make me feel better than your sweet words! I’m glad you and your wife are going to do your dream trip. Paul and I fell in love with Hawaii and went nearly every year after buying a timeshare on Maui for our 25th anniversary. I didn’t think I’d travel as much after losing him but I’m starting to miss it. So maybe next year. Thank you again for sticking with me through all the ups and downs of life!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love and hugs to you Dee. As you say, the grief is not so fresh. The hurt will never go away but it does get easier to bear. I hope that you and yours have a great Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Peter. A merry Christmas to you and your dad as well.

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  5. I truly admire your strength. It takes a lot to be positive during hard times. Hugs ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It’s been one hell of a few years and sometimes all I can do is go through the motions but I guess it’s as good a way of coping as any. Sharing here is therapy for me!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. What a lovely way to memorialize the anniversary. Like your friend Jim, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog this last year. God Bless you and your family. Thanks for sharing yourself with us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I sometimes feel that I over share but that’s just how I am. It’s so nice to have so many wonderful online friends ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are always genuine, and sincere. It’s one of the many things I like about your posts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, that makes my heart glad! I really enjoy your blog, too❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I give you so much credit not only for the strength you show in making it through your year of grief and of missing your husband so much, but then of using your wisdom and experience and love to remind us all the importance of loving “our people” every day, and of always telling them how much they mean to us. My guy and I are on our 35th year of marriage and closer and more in love than ever before. We know we won’t last forever, but just as you show here, our love will. Many thanks for sharing your loss and your undying love for your husband with us. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your sweet words! I’m so happy you found a wonderful guy, too. I try not to write constantly about losing Paul but it’s nice to have my little forum to honor his memory.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your heart; that can’t be easy, but I’m glad you are feeling a bit better and that pain is not as fresh……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for saying that! Sometimes I’m afraid I over share but writing here is like therapy for me

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  9. Thank you for keeping us in the loop, I like to hear how you are doing. It can’t be easy, but I’m confident you’ll be okay. The two of you had a love that can never die, and that will be your strength.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Words are pale things in the face of grief, but I don’t want to creep off without leaving a few–if nothing else to send my condolences. I’m glad you have family around you, and I’m glad for your strength.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ellen. Sad but true, life goes on whether you’re ready or not.

      Liked by 1 person

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