I’ve been a widow now for almost a year. Still hating it. I even hate the word. Thanksgiving will be the last holiday of this year of firsts to go through (although I was still pretty numb and don’t really remember much of last Christmas.)

We will celebrate together with my family on Christmas Eve and then youngest and I will break tradition and go to Virginia Beach to spend Christmas Day through New Year’s with my sister and her family.

Most days I’m stunned when I realize it’s been nearly a year since my husband died suddenly last December 3. It just can’t be possible, yet it is.

Some days I’m afraid I’m not handling things well, but I do get up every day, put on makeup (mostly), pay bills, run errands, cook dinner, work out three days a week. So I guess I’m doing okay, right?

Many things are still undecided. I want to find a permanent place to live and continue helping youngest train toward finding a job. Find myself a purpose in life, maybe get a dog again once I’m settled. Maybe combine those two things and train a dog for visits at hospitals and/or senior centers.

I need to write again. Maybe travel. Find joy in life again. Move forward. Move forward without feeling guilty…

Thank you so much for sticking with me and reading my posts, however few and far between, even when I don’t always read yours and comment. I’m doing the best I can, really I am.

Wishing you all a lovely holiday season.

Photo of the Grand Canyon is mine.