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Slowly I’m getting back to writing. I hope you like this first shaky attempt…
UNBROKEN
That place where my heart dwelled
Has been raw and empty
A wound leaking life’s blood
Since the moment you left me…
Why keep drawing breath
Day after night after day
Searching for a semblance of reason
When faced with your untimely death
Grasping at thoughts while the mind reels
Holding close pieces of me that threaten to shatter
Searching for hope to let in the light
That every tortured breath steals
From my fractured heart to a sadder place
Where darkness reigns and mourning is king
No more attempts to bargain with a higher power
I accept our fate with reluctant grace
Deep in my soul I yearn to know again
The wonder of love in your glance
Will I ever move beyond the pain
And allow life another chance…
Weeks become months of their own accord
The sun rises and sets, oblivious to my despair
Then one day with dry eyes I awaken
To find I’m battered but still unbroken
Unbroken. Beautiful
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Thank you, feeling more hopeful, too.
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This was lovely yet also beautifully tragic
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Thanks! I’m moving forward a little at a time
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And that’s all anyone could ever expect from you ❤
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This breaks my heart…but is beautiful in its sadness. I’m glad you’re starting to write again. 😊
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Thank you, T. I have my moments of profound sadness still but feel like I’m moving forward. I’m going to sell the house, so clearing out stuff and doing some improvements is keeping me focused. Hope you are all well!
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Oh Dee, I hate to hear that, but I guess it is keeping you busy. Are just gonna downsize or are you moving away from the area?
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No, just downsizing. We had planned to sell this year so I’m good with it. We will move in with my older son. He has lots of room and I’ll have my JP every day for awhile. That will give me time to look around and decide what to do down the road. Maybe a new start will be good for me.
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That sounds like a great thing, actually! 😊
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I think it will help us all! The dog is the wild card!
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This is heartbreakingly beautiful. xoxo
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Thanks, Drew. Hope it was a little hopeful, too. I’m feeling all those things now, sadness and loneliness, but stronger and more capable.
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It takes time. A lot of time.
Xoxo
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Mwah!
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Beautiful…No more attempts to bargain with a higher power
I accept our fate with reluctant grace…<3
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Thank you, feel like some days all the stages of grief hit me at once!
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I’m here for you whenever you need someone… I know what loss is and I know it can be very isolating and lonely. Call me ❤️
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It’s beautiful, Dee. ❤️ Keep writing what comes into your heart, it sheds tears but helps heal the heart.
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Thank you, Rob. I’m swamped with all these feelings right now from pain to emptiness to guilt to hope. I can tell my heart is healing. I was experiencing actual pain like a hole in my chest, and I do feel somewhat better. I think the sadness will last a long time, but I’m trying to just accept whatever I feel as normal for me.
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Very powerful. I’m weeping.
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Aww, Wendy, thank you. I still cry almost every day, but I also feel stronger and more hopeful!
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Acceptance, growth, and hope. Strong and heart breaking.
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Thank you, Oneta! I feel like you got exactly what I was trying to say
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So powerful.
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Thank you!
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One day, truly you will.
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Oh Dee, this makes me well up. I am glad to see you writing about it – it’s therapeutic. And I’m glad to read in the comments that you’re beginning to feel a little better. All my love ❤️❤️
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I have more good days than bad, now. Nights are the worst but I know it will get better over time. Thanks for ding, Meg!
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❤️
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It’s so good to see you writing again Dee. Keeping busy too.
Love and hugs to you.
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So poignant…
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Thank you!
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Beautifully written.
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Thanks!
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Moving, honest, raw. I’m glad you’re writing again. Another baby step on your new, sadder journey with a glimpse of hope.
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Oh, thank you, Linda. I am moving forward a little but on an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I still can’t believe he’s really gone…
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Certainly this is not the best part of your journey, but you will find strength you never imagined you had on the way. Thank God for JP, eh? Feel the love coming your way, my friend.
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I know I will get through it. I know I will be happy again. All you can do is go on…
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That’s a lot.
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Oh, D, this is so beautiful. You have me in tears, wishing I could give you a hug. Keep writing, dear friend. Our emotions are what drive us. ❤
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Thank you, I’m just all over the place with my emotions and things to do but I miss writing as I go thru the days. I wish all my dear blogging friends lived closer!!
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We are as close as your screen. Just knock when you need us ❤
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Thank you, you’re the best!
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