It’s Thursday…

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…and today would have been my husband’s birthday…

We’re all still adjusting to this newer, emptier life (at least for me) but we are getting through the days.  The nights are a little harder.

After more than 38 years with someone wonderful by your side I guess it’s natural to be lost.  And he was wonderful, truly the love of my life.  When I met him he was divorced with three children to support.  A dream come true, right?  I used to joke that when he said he had bills, I thought he meant green ones and that’s why I married him!

The truth is we were so head over heels for each other that nothing could have kept us apart.  He was the best husband and father, working two jobs for a long time to support us.  He said he was fascinated with electricity when he was young and knew from the time he was about eight that would be his career.  He was from rural Tennessee and enlisted in the Navy, getting a chance to be an electronic tech and then later going to school on the GI Bill and eventually became an electronic engineer.

This year the grief is still very fresh, but I’m grateful my three sons will be over tonight with their families and we are planning to eat pizza and drink their dad’s favorite Merlot and probably share some funny stories.  And we’ll get through another first this year and keep moving forward…

38 responses

  1. Im so glad you’ll have them there tonight. We think of you often, and send positive vibes your way constantly. I sure hope things are going ok….well, as ok as they can be. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Things are going well, really. Most days are pretty routine now. Still meetings tomorrow with SSA and financial advisor and need to talk to lawyer. Have you heard of something called an Able account for adult dependent child? I think it’s relatively new and we may use it to replace trust.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve heard of that account. It’s been mentioned to us by my sons’ brokers, but I don’t know much about it. There’s another one, the name escapes me now, that she said would be more appropriate for my son though. He’s higher functioning, and the hope is that he’ll continue to improve to a level of independence where services aren’t needed. Next time we meet with his broker, I’ll see if see can give me some info on it though. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We just did another meeting and we’re not going that route after all! Seems like there’s some other way of having my estate own an account for his benefit that won’t affect his SS. I’m always so confused!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I hear ya’. They seem to try and make the whole thing as difficult as possible. 😏

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  2. Have a wonderful evening with your family – hopefully full of loving and fun memories of your husband and the life you all shared together

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, honey! I’m glad some of the kids will be here with me…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Enjoy the pizza, the merlot, but, more than anything, enjoy the laughs, because there will be laughs. There may be tears too, but that’s OK. Hugs to you Dianne.xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Peter! I’m still not there yet, but I will find my happiness again. All the firsts are difficult, but I will get through them

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You brought me to tears with this post. I can’t even begin to image your pain, loss, or emptiness.

    It is a heartwarming thing that everyone will be getting together for this sacred, and sad day. Hopefully, everyone will remember and appreciate all of the
    wonderful things he accomplished (especially all of the sacrifices he made for family and love).

    Bless you always Diane. He will forever live and breathe in your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, now you’re making me cry! But yes, I miss so much! He was a hard working, self made man and I want to live the rest of my life to honor him (and I know he would want me to be happy again, just as I would want for him if things had been reversed). I’m getting there

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It takes time. Don’t think you have to rush yourself. We need to mourn.

        xoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So true, my friend. Day by day…

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  5. My heart aches for you, Dee. It’s going to be a beautiful and emotional night, with those closest to you, to celebrate the day of his birth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was not as sad as I thought it would be. We toasted and JP wore a shirt with a pocket in honor of papa (who needed a place for his glasses!) That boy is my heart!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. As a sailor who works with electricity, your story touches my heart a little deeper. I’m keeping you in my prayers & sending positive vibes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Captain. So you understand the draw then? He was always a science math kind of guy, definitely not my forte. I guess opposites really do attract!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m definitely an English kind of guy. just enjoy airplanes, so found myself working with electricity & computers. My wife has a scientific mind, so I completely agree with you.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. It sounds like you have a wonderful loving family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, yes, I really am very lucky!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like a great evening with your family, together you can get through the grief, and keep your husband’s memory close. God bless you all.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sounds like you have wonderful children! I’m sure you’ll see your husband in their eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Jan, thank you for that image! They are all great kids and a huge help to me, even tho I know they are grieving, too

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  10. I think of you often and how quickly life changes. I wish I could give you a date or timeline as to when things will feel okay but I don’t think they have one for what you are going through. Stay warm with your family and know that I’m thinking of you and I’m right down the street when you need me ♥️🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Mwah, sending kisses. I’m doing better but everything is a constant reminder of our life together and this big empty hole now. Lots of change coming up for me and I will try to deal…but it’s so different

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Slowly … I’ll send some angels. They are always looking for work . 🙏🏻🙏🏻 so glad to hear from you. Blessings my sweet, sweet Dee 💗

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Condolences and prayers, Diane, for a year of unexpected joy.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A bittersweet celebration for sure. In the middle of your pain, be thankful for the love you shared and your years together. Many never know that kind of love. 💐

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is what keeps me going, knowing how much I have to be grateful for.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Words can’t express my heartbreak for you Diane…your memories are forever in your mind and heart and you can think back over the many years of joy and love you shared. You were absolutely blessed…and still are.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Your stories from your family have always warmed and encouraged me, Dee. Perhaps writing them will help all of you through this immense, mind-boggling adjustment. You’re in my prayers regularly 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  15. One day at a time, that’s all you can do. Thank you for writing about it and letting us know how you’re doing. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is so difficult sometimes just to get through the day. Other times it feels easier and then that makes me sad because I feel like I’m moving on and I feel guilty because I can…

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  16. I’m sure he would want you to , may your memories sustain you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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