I always get SO nervous about posting a poem. Phew, I’m literally having hot flashes, lol! Sometimes I just get an idea and can’t let it go. I’d love to hear what you think, good or bad…really…
Clouded skies and stormy seas
Frigid nights, gray depresses me
Devoid of color, lacking feeling
Cool, impersonal, emotion stealing
Dark titanium, hardened stainless
Faded black top, the road seems endless
Never choosing black or white
Giving up without a fight
I’ve never liked the color gray…
Captivated by your silvery glance
We fell into that familiar dance
Too much emotion/never enough
Gray pulled me in then swallowed me up
Shading the truth by degrees
I only saw what I wanted to see
Thought we were meant to be soul mates
But that was not to be our fate
I’ve never liked the color gray…
Drizzling rain becomes a downpour
My dampened spirit drowns once more
Tears cascade in a trail of gray
My heart breaks in two, I push you away
Tangled in your deception
I forgot my smoky aversion
To ignore that was so unwise
There’s no warmth in your stony eyes
There once was a girl in the Midwest
Whose life sometimes felt like a test.
She’d found her good health was precarious
Every twinge she proclaimed the scariest
Till her doctor finally begged, “Give it a rest!”
I’m absolutely fine, really, but once you’ve had cancer — and if you’re kind of an anxious person anyway — guilty! — you start to see and feel bad things happening everywhere. I don’t even remember when I wrote this, but it was months ago and my check ups have all been great!
But, yeah, I still feel twinges. Doctors tell me some twinges are probably nerves healing from the surgeries. Others are muscle stiffness and soreness as I began exercising. The chemo left me with numbness in my fingers and toes that eventually has gone away. But it took months…
And I’ve had occasional back pain for years — ever since I was 19 — so those twinges don’t scare me in the same way. They’re just annoying and sometimes incredibly painful, particularly when I get muscle spasms after my back “goes out” as I call it. I’m not exactly sure what happens, but over the years I’ve had at least a half-dozen doctors tell me that it looked like my spine was out of alignment. I’ve seen an osteopath for adjustments and more recently a physical therapist.
Now I’m going to a chiropractor and have progressed to twice a week adjustments. It was a little scary at first to trust someone to put that much pressure on my spine and neck while pressed face down on a table, leaving whatever eye makeup I’m wearing on the tissue paper under my face. I’ve learned to put mascara on afterwards!
I’m feeling so much better and more energetic after only two weeks of treatments. And they have this incredible traction table that you lay on, on your back, and rollers underneath move up and down from your shoulders to your tailbone. Anyone who’s sat in those big massage chairs when you get a pedicure knows the feeling I mean. And this table is like that chair on steroids! (I asked for one for Mother’s Day, but I think the cost was prohibitive…)
I have four weeks left before we reevaluate but I think I’ll be going for “tune ups” forever. And, of course, I’ll be doing the back and neck exercises that I should be doing anyway. And this time I mean it! But, oh, how I love that table *sigh*
I feel like I came into this whole mothering thing on accident. I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life, but marriage and a family wasn’t something I dreamed about when I was little. I worked and traveled some after high school, eventually finished college and began a career. Then I met my husband and everything changed! We got married after dating a short few months and I instantly became a stepmom to two daughters and a son. A year later our first son was born, followed by his brother five years later. Two years after that, when I was in my mid 30s, my oldest stepdaughter had her first child and suddenly I was a grandma!
Now all these years later there are seven grandchildren in our big, blended family — Bailee, Collin, Cameron, Preston, Sarah, Madison and Justin. And that very first granddaughter got married a few years ago and had a sweet little boy named Hudson, our first great-grandchild. I’m so proud of the men and women my children have become and look forward to seeing all the grands grow up…
So to my wonderful sister and sisters in law, my nieces and nieces in law who are all such great moms, Happy Mother’s Day! To my beautiful stepdaughters Esther and Naomi, and lovely daughters in law, Shelly and Christy, who are the terrific mothers of those wonderful grandchildren and to Hudson’s gorgeous mama, our granddaughter, Bailee, thank you all for being a part of my life. I hope you have a spectacular Mother’s Day!
To my sons and stepson, thank you for being such blessings and having the good sense to choose such lovely brides 😉
And Happy Mother’s Day to all of you, too, my dear friends!
True, so very true…