#atozchallenge, B is for Breathe…

Bethany sat near the window, letting the small patch of sunlight warm her.  Eyes closed, her thoughts drifted to the day their first son arrived.  She had gripped Rod’s hands as one contraction after another left her gasping.  “Just breathe, sweetheart,” he’d soothed.  “Did you pick your focal point?   It’s okay, squeeze as hard as you want.”  Always her rock.

The beeping machines brought her back to the present.  Shadows lengthened and the hospital room felt colder.  Tears fell as she gripped Rod’s motionless hand, tubes and machines keeping him alive.  She stroked his graying hair.  “Please, sweetheart, just breathe.”

###

My theme this year is 100 word stories (so, no, don’t count this line.)

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76 responses

  1. Oh, how words are meaningless without the context. Great piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so difficult to tell a tale in such few words. But you have managed to do that very beautifully! Great post. Well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It’s been both easier and more difficult in some ways!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know what you mean! 😊 I written micro-fiction too. At first, it was very difficult but after a while it gets easier. Even though I still suffer at times! 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow. Emotional. I’m bawling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, sorry! Letter C will be fun, I promise!

      Like

  4. Oh my! This was so good (and sad) – an excellent 100 words story. 😢

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Meg! I’m enjoying these although they are both easier and more difficult to write!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know exactly what you mean! It’s a great exercise in being concise, though!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It is and forcing my imagination into overdrive!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s awesome, then!

        Like

  5. Excellent writing and really powerful in just 100 words. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much . I’m finding it easier in some ways and more difficult in others to write just 100 words!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A lovely, emotional story, Diane, which you told so well in only 100 words. You evoked the scene in that hospital room perfectly and really drew me in. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Millie, I love your feedback!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m doing my best at going one day w/o tears and that didn’t help…But it was really good so I’ll shed a few for you but then I’ll get busy with the day. Love ya, Mz. D and loving your challenge post. Mine are a bit long but it’s a process 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Patty! (Shorter is easier!) Tomorrow mine will be more fun…

      Like

  8. This actually made me tear up. So well-written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m hoping for a nice variety through the alphabet. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sure they’ll be great. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am good at bitching. Ha!

        Like

  9. Great piece of microfiction. Choked me up.
    http://bit.ly/2otD1C9

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I felt as though you were in a hospital room with me 15 years ago only Andrew was my son not my husband.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry, Bernadette. That must have been horrible for you!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh, I nearly cried. You’re an excellent writer. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome. ❤️

        Like

      2. Hey, thanks for including me in the lyrics challenge. I need to do that. I’ve been so busy getting our lake property ready to sell (listed it last Tuesday) and now I’m starting to pack up this house. Not much time for writing.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No worries, do it whenever you have time or not at all, whatever is best for you! Moving is a full time job 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ha ha, yes ma’am. I knew we had a lot of stuff, but MAN!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Hmm – the title of this piece looks rather familiar.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I wrote this whole long story called Breathe last month.
        Maybe you missed it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, no, I remember now. Yep, total plagiarism 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Title Plagiarism!!
        That’s a thing, right? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha, I’m sure no one has used breathe in a title before. Do I have to pay you some royalty now??

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Royalties? Nah. Just bow deferentially, Dee – that should do it. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Haha, maybe a little cutesy. We’ll see 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hahaha – now that I’d like to see. 🙂
        Keep smiling.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Oh crap I meant curtsy. Ducking autocorrect 🙄

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Hahaha – that ducking excuse again! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Absolutely beautiful. Brings my memories rushing back. So very good.❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so kind to say that! Thank you so much xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are most welcome. Go Cubbies (just for you ❤️)

        Like

  14. Awesome! I wish that I had the gift of quality FF!

    Marquessa @simplymarquessa from
    Simply Marquessa

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, sweetie! I’m loving your Hawaii story, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Powerful in so few words. Well done!

    Like

  16. Wow, great stuff. And complete. In just 100 words. Remarkable. That was a great story with such a beautiful juxtaposition. I’m glad I’ll get to go straight to C, so this one won’t linger too long in my mind … I hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, I’m mixing it up with romance, mystery, maybe even a little horror!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. This is a beautiful, heart wrenching puce l piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. You are very nice to say that!

      Like

  18. Piece * sorry autocorrect

    Like

  19. Hmmm I sure hope he takes that breath!!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Ah, heartbreaking. So much emotion for so few words. Nicely written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  21. A whole love story written in 100 words. This pulled at my heartstrings–just lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Steph! I think it might be a scenario we all can relate to with a parent, spouse or child.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. […] My theme this year is 100 word fiction.  This is a continuation of B is for Breathe which you can read here. […]

    Liked by 1 person

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