These picture are all selfies, all taken last week. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I’m fading away a little more. If I had light eyes, I’d have no features at all!
What little hair I have is nearly transparent and my lashes and eyebrows are falling out now. I can only look somewhat normal with make up and a wig. I won’t lie, I don’t like the way I look right now.
Yes, I know it’s temporary. Hopefully, although now I’ve been reading that eyelashes sometimes come and go after chemo. Yes, I only have one surgery left. If there are no complications. I think I’m getting nervous and I’m just tired of dealing with everything and, God, I want my life back!
Please don’t tell me I’m brave or an inspiration. I don’t feel like I am. What I feel like is a big whiner. Yes, I know I’m entitled to my feelings. But I feel even guiltier having them. I know trading my hair for my health is something I would do again tomorrow if necessary. I’m just tired of looking like this.
Probably you should just ignore me and I’ll get my sense of humor back soon. And I’m only leaving these pictures up for a day or two…