Lessons Learned, Part 6…

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I’m sorry I’m so late in posting Part 6 of Lessons Learned!  I’ll give you a little synopsis of what’s happened so far, but feel free to start at the beginning and read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5  for the complete story  especially if you’re new to my blog. 🙂

Regina loved Bobby back in high school, they had a huge fight and split up before they knew she was pregnant.  When she lost the baby, she tried to get in touch with him but he never got a message to come to the hospital.  They haven’t spoke since, until they meet up in the airport on Maui, where they’re unknowingly standing up at the same wedding.  He’s always called her Gina and she always called him Bobby, but their friends (Jaime and Mike from my short story  Eyes Wide Open) know them as Reggie and Rob.  

Bobby and I spend the rest of the evening trying to understand what had happened back in Virginia after high school.  When we finally looked around and realized how dark it had gotten, he asked if I would come up to his room, just to talk.  Since we were in the same building and on the same floor, I figured it would be okay.  And I didn’t think we were going to get much sleep anyway, at least until we’d heard each other out.

Neither of us remembered exactly what we had argued about when we broke up, just that we were young and going away to different colleges.  I think it seemed easier to have a big blow out fight and go our separate ways than try to have a long-distance relationship and maybe find out that our love wasn’t strong enough to keep us together.

Then I had the miscarriage almost before I knew I was pregnant and when Bobby didn’t come to the hospital, I had been sure it meant we never had a chance.  And now I’m reeling with the news that he never even knew about the baby.

“But I called your house.  I talked to your dad,” I say.  “I told him it was really important.  How could he not tell you?”

“I don’t know, honey, I’m really not sure what happened.  He was still traveling for work a lot then and I’d left for college already, with practice every day of the week pretty much.  If he called and left me a message, I didn’t get it.  I know mom and dad wanted me to focus on school, too.  I know they liked you, but I knew they were kinda glad we broke up then.  I think they just thought we were too young to get serious.”

“We were too young,” I say ruefully.  “But it didn’t seem like it back then, at least not to me.”  “Me, either,” he smiles into my eyes and the years just fall away.   Then he’s shaking his head thoughtfully.  “God, you don’t think they didn’t tell me on purpose?”  We just stare at each other and it occurs to me that maybe his mom and dad didn’t love me as much as we thought they did.

“Maybe they really didn’t like me?” I whisper, “Enough to keep you from finding out you lost a child?”  I can see the pain on his face and I hope that I’m wrong.  But how else could things have gotten so muddled all those years ago?

His jaw tightens as he looks at me again.  I can tell he’s wondering the same thing and it looks like it’s tearing him up inside.  I mean, his family had always been super close.  His mom and dad and Rhia and him, then me.  They had taken me in so many times as a kid.  They’d shared meals with me and let me stay at their house all those nights.  I thought they were my family, too.  I had pretended they were…

But I guess helping me was different than thinking of me as maybe their son’s wife or the mother of their grandchild.  My mom’s influence again, I thought bitterly.  Nobody really wanted the town drunk’s kid as part of their family.  Sure, they felt sorry for me and helped me out, fed me, gave me a place to stay sometimes.  People could always feel good about a local charity project.  But anything permanent?  No, thanks —

I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud till I saw the shock on Bobby’s face.   “You really think that’s how my family was?”  His voice is flat. “Well, now I’m not certain,” I say and I’m working to keep my voice from shaking.  “It sure seems like that’s the only explanation, doesn’t it?”

“Did they even know you were pregnant?”  His voice is rough with emotion and he clears his throat.  “Sorry.  I mean, what exactly did you tell my dad when you called?”

“I don’t remember anymore.  It was years ago!”  Now I’m the one getting emotional and I stop and take a breath.  “Okay, wait.  I started feeling awful and when I told my mom that I was spotting and having such bad cramps, she insisted that I go to Portsmouth. So we went.  My mom was driving, so I called your house and your dad answered and I told him I needed you to come to the hospital.  That something was wrong.”  I know I didn’t say anything specific, I would have been too embarrassed to tell his dad what was going on.  I’d been scared and in pain and hormonal and had just wanted Bobby.  And he wasn’t there…

He reaches for my hands and holds them in his, rubbing his thumbs across my fingers.  “God, Gina, I never stopped thinking about you. When I came home that first Christmas and you weren’t there, I didn’t know what to do.  Your mom said she didn’t even know how to call you, that you had a different cellphone number that you wouldn’t give her.”

“But that’s not true!”  I hadn’t changed numbers until years later when I moved away from home permanently.  “Why would she tell you that?  I had that number for years, but I didn’t want to be at home if I didn’t have to, because of my stupid ass of a stepfather.  I spent a lot of holidays with Jamie’s family.  She was my college roommate and I knew Mike way before they even started dating.”

“Well, what the hell?” Bobby is looking completely perplexed.  “I’m guessing your mom wasn’t too crazy about me, then, huh?   She just lied to my face.”

“Well, I can understand that a little bit.  I mean, she took me to hospital.  She saw what I was going through.  She saw how scared I was.  She knew I lost a baby, our baby, and you didn’t even call me back, let alone come to the hospital!”  I can’t believe tears are running down my face and I swipe at them angrily.

Bobby is looking resigned.  “Look, maybe we better get some sleep and talk some more tomorrow,” he says.  “We’re just going round and round and not solving anything.  You know I didn’t come to the hospital cause I didn’t know you were there.  Come on, honey, I’ll walk you to your room.  It’s late.”

I try to smile back at him as I grab my purse and sandals but inside I’m hollow.  Just like that, Bobby’s in charge again and I’m dismissed for the night.  Yeah, we’re tired and wrung out emotionally, but I still feel, I don’t know, broken.  I know I’m being unfair, but I can’t just let go of all those years of hurt…

~Diane D.

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45 responses

  1. Oh this is really heart wrenching Diane. Beautifully written …

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  2. Awwwww….rather sad… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I want to write happy but it won’t go that way 😦

      Liked by 2 people

  3. A sadness in here, with events that happened years ago affecting what’s happening now. But isn’t that the case a lot of the time?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’m not sure this one can have a fairytale ending.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh this is good Diane. Not the typical way a writer might proceed, with everything coming up roses. That is better story telling. Excellent writing! And realistic. This is quite an obstacle for them to overcome. Looking forward to the next installment!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks Meg I don’t think this can have a real fairytale ending

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It doesn’t always happen in the real world… It gives the story depth.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. its against every fiber of my being, but i’m going to try to write a sad story, maybe a little hopeful…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know! Hopeful is good. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Nice work Diane. Sad for Regina who is already carrying years of hurt inside.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m trying, thanks. You know it’s hard for me not to do the happily ever after but I don’t think I can wrap this up nicely 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Diane, some stories are not meant to end happily ever after. Regina, may be one of those persons who has to learn the hard lessons of life ovr and over to finally get herself on track. What you are writing is a very real part of life. And you are a doing a realistic job.

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      2. Thank you, I’m glad you think so. I think that’s why it’s taking me so long to write this. I’m pushing one way and it wants to go another! I wouldn’t have believed that’s how it worked if it wasn’t happening to me 🙂

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      3. You can’t fight your characters and seom stories are meant to be told. Even if they are sadi. Write it and see where i takes you.

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  6. I love how this is unfolding… awesome writing, Diane!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I want to make it happy and it won’t go that way. I think that’s why it’s taking me so long to write this 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand. Sometimes I have a huge problem getting where I want to go. Also, sometimes, I’m going along and I’m not sure where I want to go!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, absolutely. I’m not totally sure with this one…

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Good writing, Diane. I read this latest part and then tried to clear my mind. But I got stuck thinking about a similar conversation from my past. I can attest to your dialogue being utterly believable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Roo, I’m so glad you think so!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can hardly wait for the next episode.

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  8. The story maybe sad, but the writing is heart warming. Teach me, pease please

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, you are so sweet to say that! Thank you much!

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  9. Wow I have been waiting patiently haha, Love this one! can’t wait for more!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to write this one!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s really hard for me to get stories out Diane! Each week I find an excuse hahaha. So I think just a big task! Take your time they are awesome!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks, sometimes it is excuses cause I haven’t got an idea to write, too!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. yes it is hard to come up with what to say Diane! That is really what keeps me from finishing!

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      4. For you it is a very interesting story and I am sure hard to figure out where it should go!

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  10. It’s coming along nicely. I foresee good things in their future 😉

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  11. This is really good. They’re very relatable characters.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Deb, appreciate you reading and commenting! xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I look forward to more!! 😊 xo

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Reblogged this on lynz real cooking and commented:
    one of my favorite on going stories

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are wonderful, thanks so much! xo

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Gosh, it is hard to say which parent was wrong but the two Reggie and Rob were very young and hard to handle things much better, I guess. I would say, if I were them, shared history and time passed needs to be “let go” to start again! 🙂

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    1. I’m having trouble writing this, don’t know if it can have a HEA, maybe just hopeful. I want it to go one way, keeps going another :/

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  14. […] happened so far, but feel free to start at the beginning and read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 , 6 and 7 for the complete story, especially if you’re new to my […]

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  15. […] happened so far, but feel free to start at the beginning and read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 , 6, 7 and 8 for the complete story, especially if you’re new to my […]

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  16. […] you’ve missed any of Lessons Learned, you can read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 , 6, 7 and 8 for the complete story or find last week’s Part 9 […]

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