Splitting Headaches…

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I’ve told you about my wonderful group of friends and our birthday dinner celebrations before.  And I’ve told you how we insist on singing to the birthday girl and ordering  one or two lovely desserts to share.  But have I told you what happens when we get the check to pay?  Yes, we become that women eating out cliche where we pull out our phone calculators and try to figure the bill out to the penny.

Well, last night we went out to dinner to celebrate two birthdays.  And we went to a Spanish tapas restaurant, a gorgeous mansion built in what was once a doctor’s residence and clinic around the mid-1800s. If you’re not familiar with tapas, they are small plates of food, cold or hot, that can be shared or eaten as appetizers or dinner.

There were seven of us at dinner and we usually get separate checks then everyone pays their own and chips in for the birthday person so they don’t pay.  Well, this restaurant doesn’t do separate checks.  In the end, it probably wouldn’t have helped anyway!

Three ordered their own plates and the other four ordered five plates to share.  One friend had a glass of wine, one had iced tea, the rest of us stuck to water.  The restaurant very graciously comped us two desserts to share.

When the bill came, we discussed how to split it and no one really was sure.  We tried dividing it first by seven, then by five (taking out the birthday people).  We took out the price of the drinks first so those people could pay for their own.  We added together the five tapas dishes, divided that amount in half, because the two birthday girls were part of that group.  We tried dividing their portion by seven, as each birthday girl would get her dinner free then pay one seventh of the other birthday girl’s meal.

It would have made a great word problem on a math test.  You know, “Seven friends went out to dinner.  Four had five plates to share, three had their own dinners.  One had a glass of wine, one had an iced tea.  Adding in a tip of 18 percent…”

The waiter came by to see if the check payment was ready and we waved him away, by now laughing uproariously over our arithmetic attempts.  He backed away looking a little confused.  Finally, somehow, we arrived at amounts that everyone was happy with, paid our bill, hugged each other and left.  Truth be told, we were happy to come to any resolution. 

When I got home and told hubby what had happened, he said, “Why didn’t you just split the bill?”  But, Honey, I explained, we were celebrating two people’s birthdays and they shouldn’t pay for their own dinner and one person had a glass of wine…  Hubby just shook his head and smiled.

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Diane D.

Photo from Pixabay

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62 responses

  1. That’s funny. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, we drive ourselves crazy with this.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I guess so! 🙂

        Like

  2. I’ve been in this situation before. Too funny. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We drive ourselves crazy and math is definitely not my thing! Thank you…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha! I pictured it all in my head!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad! We do have fun!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Easy fix. Divide the bill by 5 without the tip. The person with the wine contributes more to the tip. Lol. I would have loved to have seen this whole production!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not a math major among us, Dorinda, so we just muddle through as best we can, lol! But each birthday girl had to contribute toward the other’s dinner, and one of the birthday girls had the wine 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah ok, I see how it works LOL I would think that part of the meal is the most fun!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. As it should be 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi… so if x = the total price of the 5 shared dishes and each birthday girl pays for the other birthday girl but not for herself:

    (x / 4) + [(x / 2) / 6] = non-bday girls who shared the 5-dishes
    [(x / 2) / 6] / 2 = birthday girl (to contribute to the other bday girl)
    [(x / 2) / 6] + cost of their own dish = non birthday girls with their own dish

    If the birthday girls pay zero, even for the other birthday girl, then take that 2nd line up there, divide by 5 and split among non-birthday girls.

    Yes, I have a beautiful mind. (And it took me a half hour to figure this out.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, dear God, I will have to print this out for next time, lol! That makes me want to just say the hell with it, we’re not getting tapas ever again!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahahaa… I’m actually surprised I figured this out. It’s been a while since I did something that complicated. Most recently, I’ve just reviewed my son’s 5th grade math! Much simpler! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Math is not at all my strong suit, nor any of my friends’, apparently! We will need you to come for birthday dinners from now on. I’ll let you know when the next one is 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Awesome! Can’t wait! (I was always unusually good with math. I’m happy to say, so far my kids are, too. But, you know, grades 2 and 5… not so complicated yet…!)

        Liked by 1 person

  6. First: if you’re old then I’m old and I ain’t old. Just saying. II laughing out loud over the same scenario we do here every month. Really enjoyed this post Diane!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Roo, why do women torture ourselves like that?! We are definitely not old, just getting better like fine wine!

      Like

      1. I think women are more feelings oriented, so we split pennies rather than risk offending a friend over a silly bill. Besides, I personally feel accomplished when I can master a single check for 7. So, we’re more balanced individuals and not totally feelings oriented. Servers see it all the time and if they don’t get a giggle out of it they need to take a break – or find another job. Then again, I can’t see well enough to comment on my phone app without a typo. Maybe I am getting older… Nah. It’s probably five o’clock. Wine!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m with you there! Let’s get the wine!

        Like

  7. I’m pretty sure this is why, in a group of men, one will invariably say, ‘It’s on me!” and pay the entire bill. It’s not that they’re more generous, it’s that they don’t want to admit they can’t do the math. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! I still have no idea if it was right, but by the end we didn’t really care, lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, no! Yes, a male friend of mine would certainly pay the whole bill. I would have a panic attack and leave them hole thing up to someone else. This is one of the few situations that really makes me crazy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not a math major among us, either! Lol

      Like

  9. Haha hilarious 😀 I laughed with you through the post!!! 🙂
    Why didn’t you just split the bill?!?!!!? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, the birthday people aren’t paying for their own, only their part of the other birthday person’s. Now you see why it was so difficult!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Perhaps one or more of the group had more than one glass of wine? 😉 Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does seem that way, doesn’t it? But, no, sadly, that wasn’t it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😉 Take Care!!! Hugs!

        Like

  11. Funn.y I am the math whiz, so it was always up to me to figure it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, you will just have to come to dinner with us from now on!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Honestly, so many times I just pick up the tab. We do need to meet for dinner one day. I am a good entertainer.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think my friends would fall just a little in love with you 🙂 I might need to keep you all to myself, lol. And I could not let you pick up the check until you’re famous. Until then, we go Dutch ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. LOL Cool. That famous part is coming. I will pick it up myself then.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Lol, maybe we will come to NYC sometime. I’ve never been but if we do, you and Allie and me and Paul are definitely going out for dinner!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Well howdy! Birthday girls don’t pay. The rest split. Been there! It’s all good. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have to see this formula below that Sandra put in the comments. I need to get my master’s degree before I can go out to dinner again 🙂

      Hi… so if x = the total price of the 5 shared dishes and each birthday girl pays for the other birthday girl but not for herself:
      (x / 4) + [(x / 2) / 6] = non-bday girls who shared the 5-dishes
      [(x / 2) / 6] / 2 = birthday girl (to contribute to the other bday girl)
      [(x / 2) / 6] + cost of their own dish = non birthday girls with their own dish
      If the birthday girls pay zero, even for the other birthday girl, then take that 2nd line up there, divide by 5 and split among non-birthday girls.
      Yes, I have a beautiful mind. (And it took me a half hour to figure this out.)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Whew! With the gals I lunch with….it would take us longer to split the bill than actually eat lunch.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know, could you imagine? And I’d need a calculator for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Love this. Made me laugh 😄

    Like

  14. Oh how funny, I enjoyed that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why, thank you! We really need someone who understands math to

      Like

  15. I had to read this out loud to my hubby. He was shaking his head. By now he would have picked up and paid for the whole bill!! ha ha. We have been to dinners like this with friends who try to figure it out to the penny. Drove him crazy. He just paid for it all. Thank you for sharing! (:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Luckily, we’ve been friends for a long time. I think we do drive the waiters crazy! My hubby does not get it either. This was a tough one with all the little plates and two dinners to cover. It’s usually less complicated, lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. This is so hilarious Diane. I love female friends 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, J. We have a lot of fun!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. A great math problem for sure and a wonderful evening out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg, we did have fun but the math took us forever!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That was so funny and I could see you all working it out! haha

        Liked by 1 person

  18. ROFL 😀 You had me at the math problem! (And I used to hate those ones :\ Word problems were never my forte!) I am glad you sorted it out in the end 🙂 I enjoyed the read and could relate a lot to it too 😉 All girls-outing , had to be like this 😀 Sometimes when a few guys join they cannot stand this and they end up paying for the whole thing and say that we can pay them later just to avoid hearing all the maths calculations 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, so true. None of our husbands could even understand why we would do it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I laughed and laughed at this one, D!! My family are strange, one likes to collect cash and put on their credit card. They earn “points” while we lose our cash! Lol
    We get separate checks while out with girlfriends. We may never go to a restaurant who won’t split it for us. . . 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Robin, this was just a nightmare lol. None of us is great with math, certainly not me! But we always have a good time:)

      Like

  20. Love this post, too funny 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It was a math nightmare! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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