Eyes Wide Open, Part 2…

I was going one way with this story, then decided on this route.  What do you think, does it work or no?  Read Part 1 here

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Mr. Gorgeous turns to me just as I’m turning toward him and wow, those eyes!  Pale icy blue like foam on the ocean.  “Ooh, that’s good,” I think.  “I should write that down.”  I catch myself before I pull out my phone and remember that I’m in the middle of flirting with the best looking guy I’ve seen in awhile.

“Grayson” he says, extending a hand.  “Oh, and I’m Jamie,” I say, “and thank you for the drink, Grayson.”  “Of course,” he nods, enveloping my proffered hand in both of his.  “Please call me Gray. I’ve seen you here before.”  It’s not a question and I feel the warmth of his hands slowly chafing mine and gently try to tug my hand away.  “Really?”  I’m flattered and a little caught off guard. Why haven’t I noticed him before?   I glance down at our still entwined hands and then back up at his face, using my trademark wide-eyed look, flipping my long brown hair over my shoulder. But, something’s wrong and I find myself pulling away, squinting at him instead.

“Ahh, Janie,” he says,  looking puzzled, “Is everything all right with your eye — let me see,” he says, reaching to tip my chin up.  I pull back quickly out of reach as I feel the color creeping up my cheeks. “It’s actually Jamie,” I say, “And I need to go to — I’ll be right back,” I say, gesturing vaguely toward the ladies room.

Oh, cripes, l can’t get my right eye open.  Those damn cheap lash extensions must have gotten stuck to my bottom lashes and no amount of struggling to open my eye is helping.  Grayson is still looking perplexed and now I hear snickering from behind the bar.

Face hot, I stand quickly and Gray, ever the gentleman, stands, too, as I half-blindly lunge for the ladies, completely forgetting that the glass of pinot noir I was so sexily running along my throat only moments ago is still in my hand.  We both watch in silent fascination as the pinot gently arcs out of my glass and onto my gorgeous new silk blouse, specifically right onto my left boob, making it look as though I’ve been shot through the heart.

“Oh, my, Janie, can I help?”  Gray is sounding a little strangled and I think he might be choking back laughter, the jerk.  But, no, not laughing, just looking horrified and disdainful at my clumsiness. How mortifying.  Out of the corner of my good eye I see my friend, Mike, the bartender, with his head down, big shoulders shaking silently with mirth.  Waving off Gray’s offer to blot my chest, I head for the ladies room, wobbling as fast as my knockoff Manolo Blahniks allow, my right eye still glued shut and my face as red as the stain on my top.

It seems like forever that I’m in the ladies room, trying to rinse out my silk blouse and drying it under the hand dryer, most likely just making things worse.  Oh, God, could this night get any better?   I finally got my lashes unstuck enough that they only made me look slightly unbalanced, but not in a completely axe murderer way.

So with a faint pink blot over my left boob, I made my way back to the bar and, big surprise, Mr. Gorgeous is gone.  Mike, lips twitching slightly, says, “Hey, Princess, can I get you a refill?”  I give him my best withering look as I slide my glass over.  “Just the house wine.   And quit laughing, you idiot.”  By now I’m scowling. “He left, didn’t he?  Grayson, I mean?”  “Yeah, I know who you meant.  And yeah, right after you ran to the ladies.   Said he had a meeting or something.  I didn’t mean to laugh at you, babe,” he says gently, his eyes warm.  “But the whole thing with your eye and the wine –”

“Yes, yes, I know.  I’m a laugh a minute.  But what am I going to do?”  I wail, “You know I have to write that article on flirting and picking up guys and its more like I’m driving them away.  He didn’t even ask if you knew my number or leave me his or anything?”  I know I’m grasping at straws but I only have a month to finish this article and I’m not having much luck with the research.

“Sorry, Princess, nada.  But, come on, he couldn’t even get your name right,”  Mike says, his big hands reaching over and sweeping up the cocktail napkins on the bar where Gray and I were sitting and tossing them into the trash.   Without my glasses, I didn’t notice if there was writing on any of them…

~Diane D.

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59 responses

  1. Diane, of course it works! (I do think Part 1 was headed in a fun albeit opposite direction however…)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Might write that version, too, sometime. Would be fun to see if I could do it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You could write that version in your sleep let alone with “eyes wide open.” (I just couldn’t resist using that line…)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not kidding you – this is what I did to Joni and Graham in Run For It!!!! So you know I love, love, love it!!! And Mike is really you man! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thanks! I just need to keep plodding forward. Thanks for reading. Now I don’t want to read Run for It yet and accidentally steal something 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Definitely keep going!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Fess up, you already did…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I am enjoying this very much 🙂
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, thanks, I’m glad you like it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I liked , and I was entertained , and I laughed “with” not “at” (red wine stained new silk blouses are not fun 😉 )
        Turtle Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Spoken like a true fashionista!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. …and I thought this was going to be serious.

    Love it. Love Janie/Jamie is a hoot.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was going to go serious and have him be too aggressive with her and a cop in the bar intervene — maybe another night of research for her…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You should have her meet a guy who is aggressive, in charge and who sweeps her off her feet without the creepy. Just kidding THAT never happens.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, only in the million romance books out there already! Seriously, do I plan this all out ahead of time or just write what comes into my head? I’m not used to writing Nything longer, but feel like I should kind of plot it out ahead of time.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Grayson may come back, as you suggested another night, act gallant and then be all stalkers and that cop idea is a good choice for her “knight in shining armour!” Also, Mike is a friend who may be a good one yo let you know backgrounds of the bar regulars. . . I loved the way your eyelashes got stuck together. A nice and different element, D. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, thank you, Robin. Haven’t written much fiction before. I’m used to fairly quick articles and this is so much harder!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You are doing great! I am one who enjoys romance and love stories. By the way, “How to be Single” was a little wold but both my 30 year old single daughter and I loved it! There are recurring bar scenes in it. Leslie Mann and Dakota Johnson are great and wacky Rebel Wilson made us roar. Fun Friday evening. . . 🙂 I spend Sat nights at oldest daughter was an art college student for 3 years and now a warehouse worker. Her 2 boys and I get up much later than her early Sunday 5:00 am!
    Keep up the writing for your character’s article. A good way (“excuse”) to continue adventures in dating world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, a girlfriend and I were talking about seeing it. I love Rebel Wilson. Must see it now for sure! Thanks for the encouragement. You are one busy girl!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wold=wild in above comment. Oops! 🙂

    Like

      1. We both cried tears at 2 special parts so it is not just a shallow movie. Seriously, take tissues. Happy ending but unexpected connections. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. […] I’ll share more later.  What do you think so far?  Part 2 is here. […]

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  9. Diane, this is so, so delicious. It’s really delightful. I enjoyed every word my lady. You are killing it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you! It is so much harder than I imagined. I’ve never done much fiction so even putting together a short story is tough, but I’m having fun! And a good excuse to hang out in bars doing “research” lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a brilliant excuse. Now I know what to do next time 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for following me and I love how creative you are and the wonderful posts. I’ll be back to read more of it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say! I’m having a lot of fun with it… your blog is very informative!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I wonder hmmm is Mike interested ….

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes, but ahhh, don’t tell!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I knew it I knew it! Awesome writing. I had to laugh at her poor girl as she was falling all over in a mess, 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  11. You’re doing a great writing job. Will be waiting to see what is next. (Reminds me of my first date with my now long time husband- he tends to talk with his hands and I ended up wearing my coke 🙂

    Like

    1. Oh, no, that’s funny — and you married him anyway!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep! Best decision I ever made LOL.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. He must have apologized profusely (and well!)

        Like

  12. It was definitely a good write and I enjoyed the flow of the story! Not my normal read either lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I do thank you for taking the time and glad you liked what’s there so far. Your visit is appreciated. Guys can read romance, you know; that’s how you learn what we like! 😉

      Like

      1. I thought that was what 50 Shades of Grey was for… lmao. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, of course! My fav quote about 50 is that it’s only a romance cause he was a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer park it would be an episode of Criminal Minds!

        Like

  13. […] If you haven’t read the beginning of my story, you can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here. […]

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  14. I like the direction because really I like humor. It is reading like a romantic comedy with Tina Fey being Jamie (whatever, I have a thing for her).

    Just a note: I have learned that a writer will insert a light fun scene after a serious event to calm the pace for the reader, drop the heart throb a bit, I don’t know if it is a rule or just a technique, like I say, I am just learning.

    I love the line “making it look as though I’ve been shot through the heart” with the wine spill on the blouse. I thought that was very good. I could see the red soak forming. It also gave a feel that with her clumsiness she shot herself through the heart, or at least that’s how I read it.

    Really great write of dialogue as well.

    Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are a doll and I thank you for taking the time to read and critique! I was going to be Jamie in the movie, but Tina would be a lovely choice, too, LOL (in my dreams, of course) 😉

      Like

  15. Reblogged this on plotlessone.com and commented:
    A lovely written creative piece going on over at Ladies Who Lunch Review. This is part-2 of 3 parts so far. Head on over and check it out. Great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so kind to reblog my fiction and I so appreciate your time! It’s incredibly helpful to have people tell me what they think, I’m beginning to see the value of writing groups!

      Like

  16. […] up with the beginning of Eyes Wide Open, Part 1, Part 2 and Part […]

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  17. Oh dear, not what I was expecting at all…but I like this turn of events…now Part 3

    Liked by 1 person

  18. […] you haven’t read them, catch up with the beginning of Eyes Wide Open, Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 and Part […]

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  19. […] you haven’t read them yet, catch up with the beginning of Eyes Wide Open, Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 and Part […]

    Like

  20. […] you haven’t read them yet, catch up with the beginning of Eyes Wide Open, Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5 and Part […]

    Like

  21. I could laugh at this forever

    Liked by 1 person

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