Personal training…Part 2

I know you’ve been waiting breathlessly to hear how my class is going, but I’ve been too tired and my hands were too sweaty to write before now.  Turns out Evil Personal Trainer Keith is just as mean as Evil Physical Therapist Howie, and he pretty much laughs and ignores my complaints so far…

He had me do these arm pull things with resistance bands with handles that you pull to the sides like a butterfly stroke about 15 times. Then  bicep curls where you try to pull these things up toward your face 15 times.  And it’s always “hands lower, elbows up, use your back muscles, don’t let it pull you back like that…”  If I could do all that, I probably wouldn’t be at the gym with him, right??

Then I say, wow, that was hard and he says okay, let’s do it again!  The same freaking exercises?  Oh, sure, it’ll be easier.  Nuh, uh!!

There’s the bike and the treadmill and wall sits and leg stretches.   He says here, you’re pretty flexible, put your leg on this table that’s about four feet high (okay, maybe not, but it feels like it.)  I say in a horrified voice, without holding onto anything?  He’s like, well, you know, use your core strength to balance.  I roll my eyes (because we both know I don’t have any core strength) and he says, okay, then, put your hand on the table…

And then there’s this thing that looks like a rolling pin that you roll along your calf and thigh as hard as you can.  Yes, it does hurt like hell and it might even leave bruises.  It’s supposed to loosen and break up knotted muscle tissue and help elongate your muscles. There’s also a foam roller that you can lay down and roll on to get the same effect, but Keith didn’t seem to think I was coordinated enough to handle that.  I told him I read that Gwyneth Paltrow said using the foam roller made her taller and then Keith rolled his eyes…

He said it would be wise for me to invest in one of the rolling pin things to use at home and I said, okay, what’s it called when I go to look it up on Amazon?  He looked me right in the eye and said, uhm, a stick?  I’m pretty sure he has a college degree and everything…

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Disclaimer:  I’m teasing!   Keith is super respectful, cause I’m probably old enough to be his mom, and that thing I bought is really called an exercise stick.  He showed me ones online so I’d know what to look for…