Love in their first apartment…

I’m toying with writing some fiction and hey, I’ve known you all of five months now, so I’m feeling more comfortable trying this out and I’d appreciate any and all comments — I love it when you’re all so supportive, but helpful criticism is appreciated, too! 

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Our First Apartment!

 

The upstairs of the rentable suburban two-flat was small.  There was just one big bedroom, a kitchen, living room and what you might call a front parlor.  The one bathroom was tiny and had incredibly crazy jungle print wallpaper.  She stared at it, then turned to him with wide eyes.  He pulled her close, rocking her gently in his arms.  “Baby, it’s not so bad, is it?” he asked quietly.  She moved a little in his arms but didn’t answer and his heart dropped.  It was the best place they’d seen, and they really couldn’t afford much else.  He hated that she was upset.

 

And then he realized she was laughing, snorting gently into his shoulder.   “Oh, so you think it’s funny?” he teased, holding her a little tighter, his fingers finding her ribs, making her gasp with laughter.  “Well, it is kind of funny, in an awful, funky way — stop, stop,” she squealed.  “Don’t make me laugh so hard or I’ll have to pee for sure!”

 

His hands dropped immediately to gently caress her rounded belly.  “Sorry, babe.  The wallpaper is God awful,” he admitted, “but we’ll ask if we can replace it.   I think maybe we should tell the guy yes.”   She nodded solemnly.  “It’s okay, honey, it’s kind of growing on me already.  It’s plenty big enough for us and  we can have a cat.  And there’s room for the crib in the bedroom. It’ll be easier to nurse that way and the baby will be close by.”  He smiled with relief that she was okay with it and led her carefully down the stairs to talk to the landlord.

 

Moving in turned out to be a chore, even with friends and family helping, bringing their furniture up the steep narrow back stairs.  The hardest were the big screen television that had been his and the plain white refrigerator they had bought together.  It cost more than anything else she’d ever bought, even more than the secondhand cars they drove.   A refrigerator.   She felt a moment of panic over the cost, then smiled to herself and thought about telling him that night how she’d never felt so grown up as she did now, hoping he wouldn’t think her too young and foolish.

 

They fed everyone pizza and beer and pop, eaten on paper plates around their small kitchen table after taking back the rental truck.  After everyone left, the little apartment looked even smaller with their furniture and unpacked boxes lining the walls.  They unpacked a little more, but decided the rest could wait for the next day.

 

That evening they washed away the dirt and grime from the move together in the small shower, taking turns sudsing each other’s hair and bodies, finding creative ways of rinsing the bubbles off with the handheld sprayer, then slowly rubbing each other dry with fluffy towels.  Neither of them even noticed the jungle animals on the wall.

 

A little later, snuggled in bed as close as her belly allowed, she told him her earlier thoughts about buying the refrigerator and how the purchase made her feel somehow exhilarated and frightened at the same time, glad that the growing darkness hid the hormonal tears that glistened in her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks.

 

He kissed her and slowly rubbed her back and his hands slid down to cup her bottom and draw her closer, assuring her that they would be fine.  His hands continued to rub comforting circles over her back and bottom and thighs.  “You’re sure the doctor said this was still okay?” he whispered, nuzzling first her ear and then the sensitive spot behind it that made her arms go around his neck of their own accord.  “Mmm,” she sighed, “he did.”  “And you’re sure you’re not too tired?”  She was, just a little, but she smiled into his worried blue eyes and shook her head.  So he loved her gently and sweetly until they both fell into an exhausted slumber.

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47 responses

  1. Diane, you are truly a beautiful writer. I was searching with a microscope to find something to critique, but I totally enjoyed reading this that I found nothing 🙂 Great work

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are too kind. I still can’t fathom writing a page like that 350 times to make a novel!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s not a mean feat to type all that. You did a lovely job, seriously.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “married and pregnant and owning her own refrigerator” — I think you could cut that line because the whole piece told the story on its own by “showing” not “telling” — which I consider a good thing. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Nice to have some suggestions!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This made goosebumps flick the length of my back. Thank you for giving me goosebumps before breakfast. 😇

    Like

  4. That so perfectly describes the way you feel when you have your first apartment together. Finally a grown-up. Really well done, my friend! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! You made my Monday!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keep writing short stories about the same couple. You have enough of them and voila! You have a novel!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, that does sound easy — not! But I will try and see what I can do, even if it’s just for me…

        Like

  5. I love the way you are telling this story. A story that is captivating and makes you want to see how it pans out.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great job! Very well written, moves along nicely, leads the reader. I love your tone and expression. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comments. It means a lot!

      Like

  7. I flew through the well-written account. I want to know more about the story behind buying the refrigerator – but that’s probably an entire chapter. ❤ Good stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ve got yourself something very marketable. My advice? Drop everything else and write it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why, thank you! You made my day!!

      Like

  9. Nicely expressed with genuine, simple and direct sentences. The sentiments are there but not heavily done. Like it should be when it comes to a young couple with new beginnings. Just think of another “typical day in the life of ____ and ____.” Then throw a monkey wrench into the mix. 🙂 ~Robin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I’m hoping to keep going but with the kids here and the training 3 times a week, feel like I’m always playing catch up. I need to find time to write more 😦

      Like

  10. Reblogged this on LadiesWhoLunchReviews,etc and commented:

    I am pulling something from my archives to repost and if you haven’t already read it, I hope you enjoy! (If you have already seen it, maybe you could just pretend to like it again?) 🙂

    Like

  11. I came back here and see my response but U want to tell you how natural and sweet this story unfolds, Diane. I can picture the giggling about the Jungle print but knowing they have each other, they are happy. Soon, baby on the way will change the apt to include a baby crib. . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Robin, mostly autobiographical for mushy May! Xoxo

      Like

  12. It’s such a sweet, lovely, tale. Made me smile at the end, a comforting and happy smile… ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Great feel of the moving into your first apartment feeling. Yeah, now just another 350 more pages. lol

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    1. Exactly! My first attempt at fiction on this blog and somewhat autobiographical 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was good. So, that was written 5 months ago?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks 🙂 Yes, I don’t think you and I knew each other back in January. I remember following your blog around Valentine’s day. Do you remember I sent you an email cause I was annoyed that you never responded to my comments? You found me in spam (I’m always there!) Sent me a sweet response and voila, friends! I told you I was a blurter lol! I was kind of mean to you, sorry 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Laughing. Yeah, I remember that. All of your responses were in my spam. That is one thing about me, I want to respond to everyone. Don’t want anyone to feel ignored.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well, I could tell that about you so that’s why I was so mad at you for not answering me! Very cheeky of me to write you like that. You are just a big sweetie, Mwah!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Laughing. You are the sweetheart. I have a ton of emails (including yours) to respnd to. Now, I will finally get a chance. Whew. Smooches.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It was sweet and tender without being sappy or “mushy”. Very relatable. I thought about critiquing the vernacular use of “two-flat” and “pop” because those are regional terms, but I thought better of it. I think it actually endears the characters to the reader and makes us want to know more about their back stories. I really loved the line “snuggled in bed as close as her belly would allow”. Just great! Thanks so much for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading and for your suggestions. They are good ones and something I didn’t consider 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh, what a lovely post! It was almost like I was there watching the two…very well done 🙂 I enjoyed reading it…

    Like

    1. Thanks for stopping by, glad you liked!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Beautiful and so tender 🙂
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Diane, this was such a beautiful and gentle piece of writing. So visual, I felt as though I was watching a nice romantic Saturday afternoon movie (which I haven’t done for years by the way!) Lovely work. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you, Miriam. Hoping to find more time to write!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hope you do. Especially with stories like this one … 🙂

        Like

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